Night, morning. Day 2nd.

My 15 minutes of sleep has turned out in 2 hours. I was so tired I am not sleeping well for couple of nights now.

There are no news...I just wanted to say thank you to all who were there with advice and support with me tonight.

I remember couple of years ago I used to visit a friend breeder, so Harski can socialize and play with other cats.
She told me once that she envies me for having neutered boys I can fully enjoy. And I remember thinking how much I envy her for having kittens.

I did not know it was going to be this hard. I am not sure what did I expected, maybe kittens coming while Mozart plays in the background..not Ulla suffering and me not being able to do anything about it.

I have much more respect for the breeders now.

I look at Ulla and ask myself why did I put her through this.

It may sound childlish, and naive, and even if I thought all breeders have the same motive I learned better past moths.
I have felt responsible to the gene pool and wanted to give something back to the breed.

Well, I am not sure she appreciates my higher motives now.